Why?

So, I've come to the realization that I'm graduating in May, wit a degree in Electronics Engineering tech, minor in Computer Science, something that has nothing to do wit poetry. I question my dedication to this for the simple fact that I know its not my career, and between my lil lady, ma major lady, and my career I don't know if anything else is that important right now...but I hear some song that is playing on a homeboy's playlist...It makes me think about this piece I wrote a while back....


Why?
There’s no more motivation,
There’s obviously no more inspiration,
There are no more positive influences,
And in the end all my thoughts are left in ruins.
So Why?
Why do I even write anymore?

Why should I record,
and allow immature brains to be bored.
Like I can afford
To be ignored
Because of ya brains bullshit overload, and no real shit can be stored.
Cause I’m not a DJ turn rapper, or a rapper turn singer,
You ain't gotta lean an rock, I’m satisfied if ya snap ya fingers.
See in today’s industry, these record executives could’t market me,
Cause I’m not gonna be what you want me to be.
Fuck you! I ain't gotta talk about guns, I shoot you these…(middle fingers up)
I’m not about to cut my soul and bleed with adrenaline,
And allow you make millions,
Then blame me for the negative influence on the children.
Which to me is stupid, cause I am a parent, and if a parent had a parent’s mentality
Then you would focus on teaching ya kids the differences in TV and reality,
But nowadays when today’s parents’ see their baby boy high as kite,
They blame one of these rappers that ain't never seen they baby boy in his life.
So when the baby girl learns to "pop lock and drop it" with style,
They start pointing fingers and don’t think about how the television is raising their child.
That’s just too many complications.
It’s a lose-lose situation.

There’s really no more motivation,
Obviously no more inspiration,
There are no more positive influences,
And in the end all my thoughts are left in ruins.
So Why?
Why do I even write anymore?

The Answer
See its one thing to consult with my the brethren,
And I’m no reverend,
But I wrap my fingers around this mic and the whole worlds in my possession.
And my intelligence isn’t better than
Most,
So I don’t boast,
In fact I welcome ya scholarly suggestions,
Even a genius ask his questions,
And my IQ
Isn’t as high as the magnum
Kum Laude graduate, but streets smarts are unattainable in the classroom.
From elementary school to college,
One can acquire more knowledge,
Than can be measured on the Escalade meter that measures mileage.
But my style is to display it,
See its one thing to read and interpret information in different ways, but how well can you say it.
The media says what they want you know, and show what they want you to see,
And probably hate people who put puzzle pieces together like me.
I know I’m not the only one that notice the piles and piles of shit
Degrading Michael Vick,
compared to the little bit
About the Jena Six.
See my soul plummets,
To the bottom of my stomach,
And all dumb whores and government,
Run quick,
I’m allergic to dumb shit.
So I get sick
And I vomit,
Naked truth in various phases,
Statistics say black people catching all the diseases, I hope intelligence is contagious.
Honestly I’m not a racist,
But I’m not an actor,
Acting like I don’t know the factors,
Personally I’d listen to me before I’d listen to the corporate cracker.
Because I know our tactics,
Aren’t compatible with the normal corporate Americas,
But obviously, it’s not enough people telling us.
Or helping us,
I know God isn’t a black racist
But I take this
Visual picture and know that He made this for me.
Then I recognize this God-given talent, and I can see why he gave it to me.
Fuck The Money!!!
Fuck The Fame!!!
Pussy Come a Dime A Dozen!!!
Some Times This Shit Just Needs To Be Heard!!!!
…..That’s why I continue to write…..

Raising the Family

Today is my last day at my job in the mall, its Saturday, and all the wholesome families are in the mall together enjoying family time...This also means that PDA is involved (Public Display of Asskicking)...My daughter is 1 years old now...she's getting to the point were she is curious and getting into stuff...Can't be mad, this expands the imagination and heightens senses...It's also getting to the point were she is learning so much and comprehending what's right and what's wrong...This leads me into the subject of discpline...displineing the child that is...My girlfriend and I have two completely different outlooks on this matter. She said she was never physically disciplined that tough growing up, on the contrary I was...All it took for my girl was pulling hair and time out...I, again, got my ass kicked...and I feel it was very necessary...Hated it at the time, but love it now...I feel like at this moment, I'll let the lady implement her tactics, but I kinda know, it will get to a point were she'll understand me, and we'll see eye to eye

then Again...

Have to admit, when she is that cute...it is pretty hard to "discipline" her...

Epiphany

I've just finished reading the novel, Coming of Age in Mississippi, written by Anne Moody (pictured to the left)...Considering I'm a technology major, it really annoys the hell outta me to know that I have to put in so much work for this History class that is not going to help me with employment in the future...and reading this book was part of my History assignment...now I have to eat those words up...Don't get me wrong, "reading is fundamental", but honestly, if it didn't involve computers or electricity in any manner, than dammit I'm just not interested...usually...I finish the book in about a week, considering 18 credit hours of school, and 33 hours of employment per week...The moment I opened it, I really couldn't close it...The book focuses on racial issues in the deep south during the 50's and 60's...not even being racially radical, but the book was just suspenseful, dramatic, and touching...The whole damn history class has be generally interesting, though I don't wanna admit it, I like the damn class...I've learned so much, and enjoy excelling in it...the book made me wanna admit it to myself. I'm curious to know more about Anne Moody...Its been said she chooses not to take any pictures, conduct any interviews, or get involved with the media in any way...this is one of the only two pics you'll probably find of her, and the clearest. I wonder why she secludes herself so seriously. One can assume a conclusive reason based upon information in her book, but the setting of the book is 50+ years ago, you would think she would let some stuff go...There is information that I'm unaware of affecting the situation, which makes me curious and want to know and learn more...Which is why I like the class and the book, like I'm caught in a nerd trap, and can't get out...lol

This Just In

Yo, I just heard Lil Wayne is going rock and not doing Hip Hop anymore...I got mixed feelings about this...The way the Hip Hop game is right now, I can understand not wanting to be apart of it...even my interest in Hip Hop has slimmed down from what it use to be...but to be one of the best lyrically (whether respected or not, that cannot be denied), in the game right now, and going rock and stopping Hip Hop...I'm really hoping this is a rumor...First you kind of turning ya back on the people that made you who you are anyway...lets face it, if he wasn't popular among the coloreds he probably wouldn't have attracted so much caucasian attention...The last person this issued catered to was Michael Jackson, and we see what happened after that...I think Katt Williams would back me up on this one...I thought the rock star image was a trendy fad like the Snap music era...But I guess after the sex, drugs (syrup), and rock and roll, etc. that's what happens, people become rock starts...anybody been watch celebrity rehab lately, you seen Steven Adler from Guns and Roses, the group that invented sex, drugs, rock and roll...um...yea...what can ya say...you live and you learn...

New Inspiration

I've always said I had no desire to attend grad school...I figure a bachelors in the technology field with the necessary certifications would set me straight...but I have this professor...that sucks...I've never seen a lazier specimen in my entire life...his student assistant does all the grading of his papers and test, he doesn't teach nor explain in further detail nothing that I haven't studied myself in the book, and when students ask for help he prefers not to help because he feels that we're really just saying, "Hey can you do this problem for me?" So in truth, I'm actually teaching myself, and just simply receiving his approval of if "I taught myself efficiently." This makes me want to go to grad school just to become a professor, just because I want to take his job. Its situations like this that make students, more often at small HBCUs like the one I attend, not want to give back to the school as dedicated alumni. So when schools have to merge due to financial issues, or when historical schools loose accreditation, its usually because small issues like this complaint have escalated out of control..I figure I stop ranting and raving and do something about it...No one can ever say that I didn't fight for what I believed

What It Is, And What It Aint

I don't wanna come off as one of those social activist complaining about government actions, or lack there of (especially being a young black male, we do have a African American president now), I even put myself in George Bush's position and can halfway understand some of his ever so irrational decisions. Truth be told, I hate politics, but have to pay attention to them, whether I like it or not, political decisions do effect me as a father, a working class citizen, a one day home owner, a one day husband, and all around man and citizen of the United States of America. However, my overall political views are as stated...FUCK POLITICS...even if our president is black, politics are still a scientific approach to arguments, and I hate arguing, but need to vent about certain issues for self sanity...I was always taught that if you can't come with a better idea or solution for a specific purpose or problem, then don't complain about the present. Which also leads to the well known fact, "If you don't vote, then shut the hell up about government actions...You're not helping the situation, ya just pointlessly talking shit, stuff ya mouth wit Charmin, its not needed...So now I'm forced to think, forced to relate and disagree, forced to argue and defend, forced to criticize those I support, and forced to give credit when credit is due even if I don't want to...Fact of the matter is, there is no such thing as a perfect person(at least not a mortal, God don't make mistakes), which means there is no such thing as a perfect organization, a perfect business, a perfect economy, a perfect government, or all around a perfect infrastructure for anything, therefore...I will aways have a reason to TALK MY SHIT...no matter who or who doesn't listen.

Truth brings freedom...only if you can handle the truth...

Wow, I'm actually blogging...its funny that I'm blogging because I really avoided doing this...I'm not a big fan of social networking web sites, and blogging seemed like MySpace on steriods. I'm not a fan of MySpace at all, so I avoided it...but I blame my girlfriend for convincing me to start blogging...She convinced me that it is OK to blog and talk my shit...So I guess that's what I'm here for...I don't wanna seem like an online preacher, but she said that any random thought that I had and wanted to elaborate on, do it here...I hate to make this an internet journal, but I guess that's what it is...only difference is, journals are supposed to be secret and intamate. The world will read as I TALK MY SHIT.....LOL....I'm such an asswhole...